I,I,I,A

Mackenzie : This is a new show and there are new rules. One: "Is this information we need in the voting booth?" Two: "Is this the best possible form of the argument?" And three: "Is the story in historical context?" You can use a mnemonic device. I-I-I, the three I's. That's not really helpful.

Don : I was gonna say.

Gary : We're not opening with BP?

Mackenzie : It'll go down in the D block. There's nothing new.

Gary : How about today's day four of the president not saying anything about it?

Kendra : Would you get off the man's back? Jesus Christ. I'm surprised you found room.

Will : Gary, Kendra. Gary is the smart black guy who's not afraid to criticize Obama. Kendra got double 800s on her sats, makes Gary crazy. I studied.

Mackenzie : BP's going in the D block. Jim.

Jim : SB 1070 passed the Arizona house last week and a few days later passed the State Senate. Its official name is the Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods Act. It requires immigrants carry their alien registration documents at all times, requires police question people if there's reason to suspect they're in the United States illegally, and it targets those who hire illegal immigrants. The governor signs the bill today.

Maggie : Is it worth mentioning this is the same state that offered a bill requiring presidential candidates to show their birth certificates in order to get on the ballot?

Will : In a courtroom, that would be called "prejudicial."

Maggie : It would be called prejudicial anywhere.

Will : Nope, not that kind of prejudicial.

Mackenzie : We've got the governor for nine minutes.

Jim : Just us. She's only talking to Will.

How'd you swing that?

Mackenzie : By telling her about "News Night" 2.0.

Will : You showed her the easel?

Mackenzie : I convinced her she's not going to have to outshout a crazy person. That studio is a courtroom and we only call expert witnesses. Will is the attorney for both sides. He examines the witness and reveals facts. You will be amazed at the guests we'll book using that unbelievably obvious template. You don't have to raise your hand.

I saw one of those crazy militia guys on "Jon Stewart" last night. We could also have him on.

MacKenzie : Did you hear me when I was speaking just then or were you distracted by a Bumblebee? What does the I stand for? The... the second I. "Is this the best possible form of the argument?" Not the most colorful version, not the most outrageous version, but the best possible version.

Don : How do you define "best"?

Mackenzie : I define it by the source. I define it by the number of relevant facts it contains, and I define it by an x factor that I trust Will and myself to determine, using our combined five decades in the field.

Don : What's the best possible version of the birther argument?

Mackenzie : There isn't one. And that's the fourth... ah! This one's an a. Are there really two sides to this story? So it's I-I-I-a.

Maggie : What does that mean, are there really...

Mackenzie : The media is biased towards success and the media is biased towards fairness.

Maggie : How can you be biased toward fairness?

Mackenzie : There aren't two sides to every story. Some stories have five sides, some only have one. You don't have to raise your hand.

I still don't under...

Will : Biased toward fairness means that if the entire congressional republican caucus were to walk into the house and propose a resolution stating that the earth was flat, the "Times" would lead with "Democrats and Republicans can't agree on shape of earth."

Neal : Mac?

Will : Would you let them raise their hands?

Mackenzie : Fine.

Neal : Back to immigration.

Will : Neelamani Sampat. It means "blue jewel."

Neal : I didn't know that.

Will : I did. I took the time. I care.

Don : Are you asking him out?

Will : If he wants me to. I'm nice. And what are you still doing here?

Don : I was asked to help.

Mackenzie : Don generously volunteered to help during the transition.

Will : He was asked or he volunteered?

Don : I'm happy to go.

Mackenzie : Apologize.

Will : I'm sorry.

MacKenzie : To Don.

Don : I'm over it.

MacKenzie : Neal.

Neal : There is an alternative weekly in Spokane called the "Pacific Northwest Insider" that published an article about immigration a couple of weeks ago. The story featured a guy named Hector Nunez who revealed that when he was 16, his parents told him that he was living here illegally.

MacKenzie : The paper used his real name?

Neal : Yeah, and the state of Washington rescinded his driver's license after the piece came out. He needs his car to get to his job with a small moving company and to take his kids to school in the morning. I thought we could have him on.

MacKenzie : I've got to budget 42 minutes. I've already spent 18 on Jan brewer and La Raza.

Neal : I thought we could put a human face on immigration.

Will : How about putting a human face on the guy whose job he took?

MacKenzie : We don't have the time. We've got 1070, BP, and a senate candidate who says poor people can pay doctors with chickens. But even if we did have the time, it would be emotionally manipulative.

Will : How?

MacKenzie : We'd be putting him there so that we can feel sorry for him.

Neal : We should feel sorry for him. He's getting screwed.

Will : You should feel sorry for the guy whose job he took.

MacKenzie : I don't want to feel sorry for anybody. I want the facts, and neither of them can provide facts.

Will : Somebody's gonna book this kid.

Neal : Nobody's gonna book him. Nobody's gonna have heard of him. It's an alternative weekly in Spokane.

MacKenzie : And do you see "what's our competition doing?" on the easel?

Will : No, but I wish I did.

MacKenzie : Moving on.